I am not quirky in the way Kathy Griffin is (she has to drive when in a car, and recently has become addicted to plastic surgery), nor am I quirky in a Kathie Lee fashion in that I married a man old enough to be my father and God is not who I want to dance with to “Get Up Offa That Thing” by James Brown.
I am curious to a fault. I stare at people and think quickly about their clothes, what that implies about their personality and I try and figure out what they do for a living. This is quirky yes, but it embarrasses anyone that had the bad luck to be with me while I am assessing this person’s worth via their velour sweatpants and “C’est Hot!” t-shirt.
Food looms largely in my life. My favourite dessert is a large bowl of lettuce, and my favourite breakfast is cooked vegetables. This is what I have at home, so it does not mean I am a not a perfect house guest or that I will wake you up at 6 a.m. to ask where you keep your eggplants.
I would rather eat out than go to the opera. Eating out for me is like getting a new sweater for most people. And this is one of the many reasons why I am a good food reviewer – I am forever enamored by food.
I am the only person I know that non-fiction figures so largely in her life. I would rather go to the library than have a drink and book clearance places for me are like Jimmy Choo’s for most women. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.
I have crazy fantasies. Not like sleeping with Isaiah Washington or anything, although now that you bring it up… My fantasies are more, well, quirky:
I am in love with Steve Martin.
My dream is to have a large dog (maybe a Great Dane?) to wrestle with.
I think about having a pool on the edge of a cliff in L.A. a lot.
I pretend to interview Diane Sawyer all the time.
I know my Oscar speech inside and out.
The only question remains – what will I win it for?
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