Stranded (Observation)

Today we were without internet – for the whole day. It has happened before and though it only happens intermittently, I find that it causes within me, a kind of adrift helplessness that worries the cat and leaves the man whom I live with and love staring at me for long periods and then asking, “Are you okay?”

I should be all right. After all, I wrote longhand for years. I can read and do research without the net. Well, at least I thought I could. But then I tried. Sure, I could read my books for review, but any research I wanted to do would've taken forever without the net. Ten years ago I could have managed, but not now. I've been spoiled.

So I started to make notes, but really, I just wanted to get my work done - on the computer. So I sat.

And I stared at the cat.

And stared.

And wondered what the hell to do.

Getting up, just wanting to do anything at all, I found I had a sudden surge of energy that I didn't have 10 minutes ago. It was the lightbulb going off - I suddenly had all of this time where I didn't have to do work, couldn't do work, so now what was I going to do with my time. Just sit there?

No way.

I made a pot of spicy chili. I cleaned the bathtub. Then I went at my desk, clearing out all of the mounds of paper that had been piling up. See, I’ve been spending this last while working my ass off, writing to deadlines each day. So the pile of paper I knew was only temporary. And I would rather be writing to deadline everyday than have a clear desktop. However, my usually tidy desk was quite a sight. It was nice to attack it fully and feel like I had the time to really go through everything.

And in going through the pile, I saw how many ideas I have come up with the last month or two – I could seriously write for the rest of my days and not run out of ideas. That’s awfully comforting.

So, while I panicked internally about not being able to email and do my research that can only be done on the internet, I accomplished a lot.

Huh. It’s too bad that it took the net not being available for me to realize that.

And I’d like to say that this will happen on a more regular basis, that I will take stock each day, do the things that matter most, not get tied down by my laptop. But let’s be honest. We’re conditioned. We’re addicted.

And I don’t mind all that much.

Because I can email and make chili at the same time.